


Every minute gets easier, the more you talk to me

by Darkshines1984



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 07:03:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16259096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkshines1984/pseuds/Darkshines1984
Summary: Charity is shaken up after visiting Chas and Paddy at the hospital. Vanessa offers some comfort.For day four of Vanity Fest 2018.





	Every minute gets easier, the more you talk to me

Charity had felt numb on the drive home from the hospital. Seeing how distraught her cousin was incredibly hard – it hadn’t really computed how brave Chas (and Paddy) would have to be to just sit and watch their baby’s life ebb away. She’d been so wrapped up in her own personal demons and Sarah’s illness that it had been hard to find the headspace to think about what Chas was going through.

  
Charity could relate to the loss of a baby. For years she had thought Ryan had been stillborn. She’d only been a child herself back then though – a lost teenager in a brutal world. The baby had seemed like a lifeline, a reason to escape Bails and a second chance after her father had taken Debbie away. At that point in her life she thought she had lost two children but in very different circumstances.

  
Time (in this incident) had been kind to Charity though and Debbie had returned to her life. Then she had discovered her baby boy had survived and now had a relationship with him. She’d made many mistakes over the years and committed countless sins – she didn’t really feel like she deserved any of her children in her life and she’d failed all four of them time and time again. Chas deserved better though. Not that her cousin was perfect by any stretch of the imagination, she was a Dingle after all, but she was a good person. The world was a harsh place and fate was cruel for dealing her such a heart wrenching blow.

  
The pub was closed for the day – she hadn’t even bothered to try and sort out cover staff. Vic had gone into hiding this last week anyway, Faith was at the hospital and Marlon was in no fit state to man a kitchen or serve pints. That only left Matty and it would be a lot to ask of Moira’s son when he had only been working there for a matter of weeks. He, like Vic and Tracy, probably had Finn on his mind anyway.

  
So instead of going home she parked up outside her girlfriend’s house. Tug Ghyll had become her second home and at some point, over the summer, and despite her protests, her spare toothbrush and other items had migrated across to there from the Woolpack. Vanessa used to stay the night at Charity’s when Tracy or her dad had Johnny. Now Charity stayed at Vanessa’s nearly every other night and if it was her day with Moses then he stayed over with her. Moses and Johnny were virtually like brothers now and they shared a bedroom on those occasions.

  
Charity had stayed in the pub last night and Noah had stayed with her. It felt like a momentous step after he’d been living at Joe Tate’s for weeks. He’d even offered to stay at her girlfriends with her tonight, knowing she was shaken up by Chas and Paddy’s terrible predicament. Vanessa was working in the vets this morning, so Pearl had the two boys, but Vanessa would have picked them up by now. The three of them would be waiting for her inside Tug Ghyll.

So, Charity got out of her car and headed over to the door, using her key to enter. She was immediately greeted by the sight of the two toddlers playing with a Thomas the Tank Engine train set on the floor in front of the sofa. In the background the show was playing on the TV, providing sound effects for the boy’s game. Vanessa had her back to them, leaning over the sink to wash the dishes from lunch time no doubt. It wasn’t until the front door finally thudded shut behind Charity that the smaller woman turned. Vanessa automatically smiled when she saw her but then her face sobered immediately.

  
“Hey” the smaller woman greeted softly – “I know it’s a stupid question but how are Chas and Paddy?”

  
Vanessa dried her hands off on a tea towel as she spoke before rounding the kitchen table towards her. The smaller woman stopped just in front of her and placed a comforting hand on her elbow.

  
“Heartbroken” Charity sighed - “but being so so brave.”

  
She had no idea how either of them was holding it together. They both looked heartbroken, as anyone would expect, but they had been strong enough to hold baby Gracie all night and show her love. It made Charity think about her teenage self, how she had run and kept running, never looking back (or trying) for nearly thirty years. She wondered if as an adult she’d have coped much better? If she could have made all the brave choices that her cousin had made.

  
“As I was leaving the nurse came in to take her away for transplant surgery” Charity choked.

  
She wasn’t sure who moved first but she flung her arms around Vanessa’s back and pulled her close, just as Vanessa wrapped her arms around Charity’s neck and pushed on to her tip toes to meet her. She pressed her face into the crook of Vanessa neck – her body collapsing into the other woman’s comforting hold – as her tears began to fall. They were silent tears, with no ugly sobbing, but she knew Vanessa would be able to feel them rolling onto her own skin.

  
Charity hated crying and had always tried to force that kind of strong emotion in or redirect it in the form of anger. Vanessa had been the first person who had made it feel safe to be vulnerable – that it was okay to cry without her tears being thrown back in her face with barbed words and cruel jokes.

  
“Are you okay?” the smaller blonde asked.

  
Charity felt guilty that the conversation had turned to her when it should be about Chas and Paddy. She felt guilty that her own issues had masked their pain to her before Chas went into labour. If the truth be told she was still on her knees after the court case and visiting her father. She’d only just started to see the light at the end of the tunnel for herself, just as Chas and Paddy’s suffering was really starting. She wished she’d been there more for Chas, wished she’d been less of an idiot and said the right things. Instead she’d lashed out and said hurtful things just a week ago.

  
“When they hosted that stupid Dingle court I said the most terrible thing to her” Charity admitted - “I said that our situation was different because this was her choice.”

  
She hated that Vanessa may think badly of her and was always a little worried that one day she’d say something, and it would be a step to far – that Vanessa would wipe her hands clean of her. Her girlfriend always seemed to stand steadfast in support of her though. Charity needed to get it off her chest to someone who wasn’t so close to the situation that her confession would seem ill timed and selfish.

  
“I was so drunk and angry with them all” she explained hurriedly when Vanessa didn’t immediately reply - “I am such a terrible person babe.”

  
Instead of pulling away, Vanessa held her a little tighter and placed a comforting kiss against her temple. The smaller woman’s fingers circling lightly against the base of her skull – lulling her deeper into the hug.

  
“No, you are not” Vanessa assured her - “and Chas knows you didn’t mean it.”

  
Charity wasn’t always sure she believed Vanessa – not that she doubted that Vanessa meant it – just that she thought her girlfriend still managed to see her through rose tinted spectacles. It was uplifting that someone didn’t see her that way though. That Vanessa looked at her and saw something amazing – someone that she loved.

  
It was probably true that her cousin knew that she hadn’t meant it. Chas was well enough versed in her bullshit to know when she was just spraying verbal bullets around to keep everyone at a distance. It still didn’t mean that her words hadn’t stung or hit their mark a little too squarely in the chest. Charity was desperately sorry for that and she hopped that counted for something.

  
She pressed her lips against Vanessa neck in a silent thank you, ignoring the salty taste of her own tears that had pooled there. The smaller woman kissed her temple again in response before loosening her hold around Charity’s shoulders and dropping back down onto the flat of her feet. She loosened her own hold so that she could raise her head out of the crook of her girlfriends’ neck and look at her. Her hands splayed against the flat of Vanessa’s back – finding comfort in the heat she could feel through the smaller woman’s thin white fitted t-shirt.

  
Vanessa’s stunning blue eyes gazed at her lovingly as her hand slid around to cup Charity’s cheek. The taller woman was sure her mascara had smeared, she was exhausted and probably looked like shit. That didn’t matter to Vanessa though – it never mattered to Vanessa. Charity pressed a soft kiss to the other woman’s lips – humming contentedly at the contact despite how sad she felt. There was always comfort to be found in Vanessa’s arms.

  
“I need to go back to the pub soon before they come home” Charity said glumly - “I’m meeting Aaron there.”

  
Vanessa nodded sympathetically before softly kissing her again. They both lingered in the kiss, Charity taking some last dregs of comfort before she would have to go and try to stay strong for her cousin.

  
“I’ll make us all some tea for around six?” Vanessa offered after she pulled back again.

  
Charity smiled warmly at her girlfriend. It was a wonder Vanessa ever offered to cook for them again after she had flung her girlfriends hard slaved over lasagne in the bin during a particularly fiery brat fit. That had been because she thought Ryan and Noah had stood them up, which reminded her of what Noah had offered this morning.

  
“Make it for five people” Charity stated - “Noah is going to stay over if that is okay?”

  
“Of course it is” Vanessa replied instantly – a bright smile flashing across her gorgeous face.

  
It reminded Charity how lucky she was to have this little family they were developing together. How Noah had been so sceptical about bonding with Vanessa at first, yet now he not only accepted her but seemed to really genuinely like her. Her girlfriend had stuck through all his insults and tantrums, rather like she’d stuck through Charity’s, and had emerged out the other side like a mother to him. Vanessa really cared about all of Charity’s kids including Ryan and Debbie. Charity wasn’t sure she could ever tell the other woman enough times that she was something really special. She was determined to make sure that Vanessa knew that was exactly how she felt about her though.

  
“I love you” Charity proclaimed.

  
It had taken her far too long to say it, especially as she’d felt those fluttering’s of love before even admitting that they were proper girlfriends. Since she had said it last week for the first time it had slipped out on multiple occasions. Suddenly she could barely hold those three words in. It was worth it every time though – to see the look of wonder and adoration in Vanessa’s sparkling blue eyes. The exact same look that Vanessa was gazing at her with right now.

  
“I love you too” her girlfriend breathed.

  
Charity couldn’t resist pulling Vanessa back into her arms for one last hug. The world and all its cruelty could wait just another couple of minutes.


End file.
